I've been overusing the word 'bobble'

It has been a while since my last thoughtful update, not because things haven’t been happening, just my usual laziness. I have had plenty of thoughts and experiences I should be sharing given my reasons for starting this blog, but I’ve been rubbish about sitting down and doing it!  Could be a worry – unemployment (or funemployment as I’m calling it) seems to be bad for me in some ways! My tendency to procrastinate obviously hasn’t got any better yet, despite my solemn vows to myself to ‘Just Do It’ whatever ‘It’ may be.

On the other hand, this time not continues to have its unarguable benefits. My health is better (apart from a lingering stinking cold but I got off lightly considering the flu that’s been circulating).  I feel generally much better than I did 3 months ago. I’ve quite madly signed up to walk Hadrians Wall with Adele at the end of March. More on that below.

So before Christmas, when I determined it was really necessary to take the break God was pointing me to, I had a semi-deadline in my head of not looking for work until I was back from my ski trip. In the three days after the trip  at the end of January, I’d had an interview for a job, showed people round my flat and registered for an Open University Course in Digital Photography which I’ve been thinking about doing for a while now.  It was a very positive time and I felt assured in the actions I was taking.

I applied for a job at my church and the application and interview process was really helpful and reminded me I haven’t lost my ability to be articulate and considered. I didn’t get offered the role and I think a few people expected me to be incredibly disappointed, but I was glad. Although I would love, love, love to work for my church, the particular role was not for me.

So I haven’t had a thunderbolt of understanding as to my next job path in life and wasn’t ever expecting one.  But I do feel more at peace over the whole job situation than ever before. The plan now is to get moved home then start applying for anything and everything!

A new discovery, fuelled by applying for the church role is that I would really like to work part time which I would never have considered before I left my last job. I believed that I would not be contributing the best of my abilities, fulfilling my potential and all those other somewhat self-aggrandising ideals if I wasn’t working my fingers to the bone somewhere.  I recognise I have the blessing of being able to move home with Mum and therefore can earn less, and Rob and I are sorting out our finances in a way that even if I continued to work part time into the future we’d be ok. But I’d love to work part time so some of the things I’ve been doing in this break can continue. Things outside of work-life got a short shrift – and I’m now enjoying be able to plan Disciple group events, Brownie meetings, meet friends for lunch and be able to put more time into those people. And spend more and better quality time with Rob J And I am so excited about the photography course, even though it doesn’t start until May!

That all said, I know I can’t keep running down my savings, I’m learning to rely on them less, but I’m also not silly!  As explained in previous blogs, I have relied on knowing I have a bit of a nest egg far too much – and it is already significantly dented. I was also musing in my last entry about moving back to Mum’s . Well I handed in my notice on my flat and will be out by the beginning of March, moving to Mum’s before that if possible. 9 people have viewed my flat so far and no one has taken it – are they mad? It is great, quiet, well located, cheap (comparatively) and I want OUT! My landlord agreed I could break tenancy early if someone else moves in – which is great but only if someone takes it on.  

Although I’m not chomping at the bit to move back to Mum’s and  I am getting much better at relaxing about  this whole thing, I am struggling with just waiting to move. I could save a fair bit of money if I get out of the flat now, but then it was my choice not to hand my notice in until I did. Having time to consider what the outcomes of my decisions may be is refreshing,  rather than before when I bobbled from one act to the next without a chance to make the (hopefully) best decision. I hope, once I’m back in work whatever it is, and however much time it takes up, I’ll be able to continue in some of these new behaviours.

So regarding my trip with Adele along Hadrian’s Wall. We have to walk 84 miles in 6 days, camping along the way. We’re starting on the 31^st March. This is a real challenge for me – I’ve not done any serious walking for years, I’ve had a horrid cold on my chest since the new year and as such my fitness levels and training are not going well. Motivation is low....so please help through donating (see what i did there!) My fundraising page is here: www.justgiving.com/Heather-Samuel

In 2002 I lost one of my best friends to sudden adult death and I’m walking in his name to raise money for this great cause.  I’m aiming to raise money for the charity CRY – Cardiac Risk in the Young. Here is the science bit.... 12 young people die EVERY DAY in the UK from Sudden Death Syndrome (SDS)  which is an umbrella term used for the many different causes of cardiac arrest in young people.  CRY provides medical information on the most common causes of unexpected sudden cardiac death sometimes referred to as SADS in the young as well as bereavement counselling for those who lose someone.

So please, if you’re that way inclined, pray for me to get over this cold, get fitter, and get the trek done. And please sponsor me J